When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard
things were. When they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every
ways. yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to
a bunch of crap like that on my kids about
how hard I had itand how easy they’ve
now that I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I
can’t help but look around and notice the youth
of today. You’ve got it so easy! I
mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a
I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t
know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the
Internet. If we wanted to know something,
we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter – with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox, and it would take
like a week to get there! Stamps were 10
Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents
beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents
of all my friends also had permission to kick
our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3’s or Napsters or iTunes! If
you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike
to the record store and shoplift it
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off
the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over
the beginning and @#*% it all up! There
were no CD players! We had tape decks in our
car.. We’d play our favorite tape and
“eject” it when finished, and then the tape
would come undone rendering it useless. Cause,
hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby!
We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else
called, they got a busy signal, that’s it!
There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you
left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call
or receive one. You actually had to be out of
touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOD !!!
Think of the horror… not being in touch
with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s
TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please!
You kids have no idea how annoying you
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the
phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It
could be your school, your parents, your boss,
your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection
agent… you just didn’t know!!! You had
to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games
with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your screen guy
was a little square! You actually had to
use your imagination!!! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen… Forever! And you could never
win. The game just kept getting harder and
harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to
find out what was on! You were screwed when it
came to channel surfing! You had to get
off your ass and walk over to the TV to change
the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no,
what’s the world coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only
get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you
hear what I’m saying? We had to wait
for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!
And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to
heat something up, we had to use the stove!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play…
all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to
soothe and comfort. And if you came back
inside… you were doing chores!
And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in
the back seat and you hung on. If you were
luckily, you got the “safety arm” across the
chest at the last moment if she had to stop
suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard,
well that was your fault for calling “shot gun”
in the first place!
See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You
kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled
rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five
minutes back in 1970
or any time before!Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd